


I don't know what to say, I'll say it anyway.

by lunasumerin



Category: overwatch
Genre: Blackwatch Era, Feelings, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2016-11-12
Packaged: 2018-08-30 13:32:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8535103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunasumerin/pseuds/lunasumerin
Summary: Gabriel struggles with his feelings.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [McReyes Discord](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=McReyes+Discord).



> Wrote this because of a conversation in the mcreyes discord about how it'd be nice to see Gabriel be the one to fall in love first.

Jesse had been with Blackwatch for about a year and Reyes was more proud of the kid than he'd thought possible. Kid kept going above and beyond what he'd expected of him and it made his heart swell with pride that the boy was flourishing under his tutelage. Even Morrison had taken quite an interest in McCree's progress.  
  
That bit actually irked Reyes. He was proud that Jesse was able to be good enough to catch the strike commander's eye, but at the same time something about it rankled inside him. Jesse was his student. In the back of his mind a part of him worried that Jack would try to poach Jesse out from under him for his own team. Just the thought of it lit the starting of a fire in his chest and he tried to set aside the unhealthy possessive feeling it gave him, but it was difficult and never really completely subsided.  
  
He never mentioned it to Jack, there was no point. Even though the man had been his best friend for years, there was an alarm that would ping in the back of his mind whenever he considered expressing his worries about it. He knew that Jack would take it wrong and feel as though Gabriel was accusing him and possibly start to think that Reyes was giving the boy too much attention. That was a whole big can of worms he had no intention of getting into.  
  
Gabriel dragged his hand down his face with a sigh, pushing off the comforter and sliding out of bed. His thoughts were getting bogged down over his subordinate lately and it was pushing him into a nervous energy that he couldn't quite figure out. It made him feel restless.  
  
After getting a glass of water, and glancing at the clock; the red numbers glaring the early morning time at him, he sighed and knew he wasn't getting back to bed any time soon. With a heavier sigh he pulled on his sweatpants and a tank top, heading to the gym to let out some of the nervous energy that was building up inside him, jangling against his nerves and his ability to rest.  
  
He took out what amounted to a surplus of pent up tension on one of the sandbags. His punches getting more ferocious with each hit. His thoughts more frustrated and exasperated over the unknown emotion swirling inside his chest like a dark fog. After he'd punched the bag hard enough to break the chain holding it up and sending the heavy thing across the floor, he took a deep breath and stretched his fingers slowly. This was getting a little too ridiculous and as he was about to head to the showers, when who should appear at the door to the gym? None other than one Jesse McCree. The young man pausing in the doorway when he saw Reyes standing on the mat with bloody knuckles and a sandbag laying on the floor, sand spilling out a fist-sized hole.  
  
"Oh.. sorry Boss, should I come back later?" There was a hint of concern in the kid's voice and Reyes shook his head.  
  
"No, you have perfect timing kid. Spar with me." That strange possessive feeling flared in his chest as he saw the cowboy wannabe's face light up a bit. He knew the boy looked up to him and was grateful for the care that Gabriel put into his training. He had worried for a while that the boy would develop a crush on his commander, but as far as Gabe had seen the boy didn't seem interested in men. The young man's conquests throughout Overwatch having been strictly female agents. If he did like men, he'd shown no sign of it that Reyes had seen.  
  
A flicker of a feeling sparked in him and he pushed it away before he could fully register what it was. For the moment he was too focused on getting into position, his feet planted firmly to the mat and his arms lifted into a defensive stance. Jesse was quick to set his bag down and discard his coat onto the dufflebag. Jesse was on the attack as soon as he set foot on the mat.  
  
The young man's body hurtling against Gabriel's. Reyes had dropped a shoulder to lean into it and let Jesse's attack work in his favor. His elbow jabbing out into Jesse's stomach before flipping the man over his shoulder and let the boy thud on his back on the mat. Having had his breath knocked out of him, it was simple for Gabriel to pin him.  
  
"Come on kid, you're better than this." The soft admonishment got him a huff in return and a young man leaping to his feet once he was free. "Show me what you got." The fierce look that passed over the younger man's face made one of Reyes eyebrows raise in interest. The kid looked pretty intent on beating him. So he waited, wanting to see what would happen.  
  
The sparring proceeded with Jesse pinned to the floor numerous times, but each go, it took a little bit longer before he was held down, defeated by his commander. The very visible improvement with each round had Reyes wondering just how clever the kid really was. He adapted so quickly to a situation, that it was no wonder the kid was such a damn good shot with that revolver of his.  
  
Jesse was wearing out though, he wasn't a super soldier, he had his very human limits. The final round, ended with McCree on his back and Reyes having the young man pinned with his hips trapped between Gabriel's thick thighs and his wrists held firmly to the mat in the larger man's grip. Jesse was breathing heavily, out of breath and face red with exertion, his pulse rapid under Gabriel's palms. McCree gave a half-hearted attempt to buck the man off of him but it was weak and only earned him a slightly disgruntled look from his mentor.  
  
Gabriel stared down at the sweaty man under him, hair wet and plastered to his cheeks and forehead. Skin hot and red, chest rising and falling with a gradually slowing rhythm. After a long moment Jesse squirmed with an odd look on his face. "Um.. Gabe?"  
  
Jesse's voice jolted him out of his thoughts, suddenly becoming hyper aware of how he was leaning over the kid, his face probably a bit too uncomfortably close to the other man's face. The look of confusion in Jesse's eyes as he was observed by the older man. The man who looked like he was judging him with dark eyes that could stare straight into the poor kid's soul, it was enough to make him realize he needed to get off the kid. Jesse could feel Reyes' breath on his face before the man pushed away from him and climbed off. A hand extended to him to help him to his feet.  
  
"You're getting better, Jesse." Gabriel's voice was mostly neutral sounding but there was a hint of pride in there, and he didn't miss the way that Jesse's eyes widened and a soft flush of heat caused the young man's cheeks to redden again.  
  
_It was cute._  
  
Gabriel shook his head before running his hand over his scalp and through the short sweaty curls. He'd put off getting his hair cut lately, it was getting a bit longer than he normally let it get. Jesse was looking at him with something like a slightly confused curiosity playing on his features, as though there was something on Gabriel's face that there normally wasn't.  
  
"Thanks boss. Got a few lessons with Morrison a few days ago.." Jesse's voice trailed off as his expression changed and it took Gabriel a moment to realize it was the look on his own face that had caused his student to go quiet. "Some.. something wrong, boss?"  
  
"Nah, good of him to help you out." Gabriel had quickly erased the scowl from his face and patted Jesse's shoulder almost absentmindedly. "Don't stay up too late kid." He quickly ruffled the thick brown mop of hair on Jesse's head before he turned to head to the showers.  
  
He didn't let himself think about anything until he was back in his room, laying on his bed staring at the ceiling, brooding.  
  
Why had the idea of Jack helping Jesse train bother him so much? It shouldn't have. He should be happy for the kid getting to learn from Jack as well. But it irked him, made him feel..  
  
_Jealous._  
  
_Possessive._  
  
With a grunt Gabriel pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes and let out a heavy annoyed breath. What was wrong with him? What were these feelings that were roiling inside him, causing an ache of warm fondness towards the kid, and an irritation and almost angry jealous feeling towards Jack? The source of it slipped across his thoughts like a small trickle of water that gradually turned into a steady stream. He sat up with a grunt and dug his nails into the palms of his hands.  
  
He almost couldn't believe it when he realized what it meant. He had feelings for the kid, for _Jesse_. Was it just a crush? Or was there something more to it? He needed to sort that shit out, and he needed to do it before it started to actually affect the way he acted towards McCree. Not only was he at least fifteen years older, but it wasn't appropriate for a commanding officer to...  
  
_To what Gabe? Fraternize with a subordinate?_ His fist found the wall with a thud and a dull ache in his knuckles. He shook his hand out before lifting it to tap his fingertips to his lips thoughtfully. He knew he needed to cut this shit out now before it developed into something more. Something that he had no reason to believe would ever be reciprocated.  
  
-  
  
The door to his office swung open without so much as a knock of warning and Gabriel lifted his eyes from the reports he was working on to see a very irritated and pissy looking Jack Morrison standing in the doorway. There was no way for him to know what had crawled up the strike commander's ass, but it apparently had to do with him or why else would Jack be there?  
  
"Someone spit in your coffee, Jack?" Gabriel leaned back in his chair, observing his friend with a dispassionate expression. The question getting him a stern look.  
  
"That'd be preferable, Gabe." There was something in Jack's tone that set off an alarm in the back of his mind. What had he done to piss off the blond this time? The blond who was now slamming his hands on Gabriel's desk and glaring down at him. "What's not preferable is finding out that you've been avoiding your responsibilities."  
  
"The hell Morrison.. You know as well as I that I'd never-" He was cut off with a hiss of air escaping from between Jack's teeth.  
  
"Gabriel, what is going on? Why did McCree come to me with concerns about your behavior?" That had him shift in his chair and stare at Jack. "He told me you'd been acting strangely and he was getting worried about you."  
  
_Jesse was worried about him?_  
  
Reyes pulled in a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh before he started to shuffle his reports into a pile and waved for Jack to sit down and get out of his face. Morrison reluctantly took the seat in front of Gabriel's desk. He knew his expression was tired and he could practically hear the worry that was running under the surface of Jack's anger. With a heavy sigh he leaned forward, his chin resting on the backs of his hands.  
  
"I've been avoiding the kid outside of training." His tone held some of the bitter tiredness he was feeling and Jack straightened up in his chair the angry expression turning into a concerned confusion.  
  
"That's.. that's normal for you though. You've never been overly into social things outside of work." The perplexed look on Jack's face only deepened. If he was honest with himself, Jack knew him very well and this must come as something out of left field.  
  
"I'm trying to.." He trailed off as an even heavier sigh escaped from him and he looked at Morrison with hesitant trust. "I've got a _thing_ for the kid." The words came out in a soft voice that had Jack staring at him for a very long silent moment. "I have no intention of letting it get in the way of being professional and I just need to get rid of it."  
  
"Gabe.." Jack breathed in deeply and shook his head slowly, all the anger he'd entered the room with had dissipated into sympathy and concern. "Sorry." It was enough for Gabriel to give him a look of irritation.  
  
"Don't patronize me Jack."  
  
"I'm not. I didn't realize that you.." He let out a soft breath. "Does McCree know?"  
  
"No, I don't believe so." He knew that Jack was weighing the information in his mind and as much as he didn't want Jack to know how he felt, he did still trust the man, he was his best friend.  
  
"Well.." Jack sounded hesitant to voice his opinion. There was a brief struggle on the man's face, as though he wasn't sure how he wanted to say what he thought. "I don't know if McCree swings that way, but if he does.." Jack had Gabriel's full attention and he felt his own face flush slightly with the intensity of his friend's look. " _If_ something _mutual_ comes about, I'm willing to look the other way. _Only_ if you are _discreet_ about it."  
  
It took a few seconds for Gabriel to realize he'd been holding his breath and it escaped him in a puff of air. He sat back in his chair, looking at Jack, wondering how Jack seemed more okay with the idea than he himself was. Morrison was too soft. Too quick to give Gabriel whatever he wanted. Sometimes it got under his skin that he could so easily be pushed into giving his friend anything he asked for, other times like this instance he was somewhat grateful, even though he wouldn't say it to Jack's face.  
  
"Shit Jack.." Gabriel shook his head, rubbing at his temple with one hand.  
  
"You never know, Gabe. But maybe it'd be just what McCree needs. Kid obviously craves attention and at least it'd keep him from going to the wrong places for it." Jack laughed then, a slightly smug look on his face. "Don't know if you noticed, but the kid stares at your ass when he knows you're not looking."  
  
"Wait.. what??" The words sputter out of Gabriel's mouth in shock. "But.."  
  
"I don't think he has any concrete feelings towards you, but I'm certain the kid wants in your pants. Seems something changed in the last couple weeks since you started avoiding him." Jack laughed and shook his head, his hand covering his eyes. "What even happened Gabe?"  
  
"I.." Gabriel went quiet, thinking. "Had a private sparring match with him, pinned him to the mat and got lost in my head a bit. Figured I should avoid him for a bit after that." Gabriel rubbed at his face. "Kid was blushing.. it was.." Gabriel's voice raised slightly and he hit the desk with the flat of his palm. "Stupid kid was too damn cute." He quickly sat back in his chair grumbling.  
  
"Well I think you woke something up in him with that. Should have known you'd get attached, your affinity for cute things may be a secret to everyone else, but you can't hide that shit from me." The grin on Morrison's face had Gabriel grumbling even more. The look became more serious after a second. "At least reassure Jesse that you aren't mad at him. He doesn't have a clue why you're avoiding him."  
  
-  
  
It took him a few days to sort through his thoughts and how he was going to handle this. Even though he had Jack's personal approval, it was still a delicate situation. Gabriel wasn't sure he could manage this, and he didn't want to hurt McCree in the process.  
  
During training he noticed that McCree kept glancing at him, some sort of trepidation clear on his face with each look. Reyes made Jesse run a few extra laps after everyone else had been dismissed, for being "distracted". Jesse had kept a straight face and Gabriel wasn't able to quite read if he was worried or annoyed at having been caught. Once he'd finished the extra laps and trotted over to his commander he seemed to squirm under the intense scrutiny of Gabriel's gaze as he was looked up and down.  
  
"Hit the showers, then report to my office, McCree." Gabriel didn't even wait for a response before he turned on his heel and stalked off. He knew this wasn't the right way to go about this, but he was internally panicking.  
  
His thoughts turned to how things had gone with Jack, back in the SEP. The disappointment that Jack wasn't interested, the relief that he still wanted to be friends regardless. But mostly it was the embarrassment of having confessed how he felt to the other man. The worst part of it had been that it wasn't that Jack didn't love him, it was just that he was painfully straight. He'd even tried for Gabriel, but the physical attraction just wasn't there and it only put a strain on their friendship. Jack had been adamant about them staying close, being comfortable with each other even though it would never again move past a brotherly hug here and there. That was not something he was prepared to deal with if the much younger Jesse were to reject him. It would be the ultimate embarrassment. The commander of Blackwatch being turned down by a recruit? This was already a mess and he hadn't even done anything yet.  
  
He looked up from the datapad he was not really reading when Jesse entered the room, door closing softly behind him. The kid looked as nervous as Gabriel felt. Probably thought he was in for a lecture. Kid moved across the floor to stand behind the chair in front of his desk, hands resting on the back of it. His weight shifting from foot to foot anxiously.  
  
"Sir?" It was clear in his voice he had no idea what was going on and was actually scared he'd done something over the line. He tensed up when Gabriel got up from his chair and came around the desk, looking flighty enough to bolt like a scared rabbit.  
  
"At ease, Jesse." Gabriel felt a little bit of relief as the younger man seemed to relax at that, his body less tense. Looking more confused than anything though as Reyes placed one of his broad hands on Jesse's shoulder.  
  
"S-Sir?" It was like the kid couldn't think of any other question to ask about why he was there. His eyes widening as his commander's hand moved to gently rest against the side of his neck. Gabriel could feel the quickening of Jesse's pulse under his fingers.  
  
When had the kid matched up in height with him? He could look McCree straight in the eye now. He was starting to fill out too, no longer the scrawny boy he'd recruited. Still had a way to go, but he wasn't all skin and bones anymore. He wondered just what was going through Jesse's head right then, the boy's lips slightly parted and his breathing quicker with shorter breaths, pupils dilated. At what point had he developed these kinds of feelings for the kid? The quickening of his own pulse as he stared, leaning in closer to McCree.  
  
Jesse was still as a statue, his face was becoming flushed, the red seeping up to his ears and down his neck. The heat of it noticeable under Gabriel's hand. The look on the cowboy made his heart thud hard in his chest and he shoved his own hesitation, his concern for the consequences of this, away to the back of his mind. His head moving forward the short distance that was left between them. His lips brushing against Jesse's, the younger man's eyes fluttering closed and a heavy breath escaping into Gabriel's mouth.  
  
His hand slipped up to rest against Jesse's cheek, as he leaned more into the kiss and felt his student become soft against him. The kid's hands hesitantly reached up to grasp the front of Gabriel's shirt to hold himself up. Reyes' free hand lightly took hold of Jesse's hip, pulling the kid against him. A tiny noise in Jesse's throat caught his attention as the cowboy seemed to grab onto some feeling of boldness and his tongue flicked out over Gabriel's lips, which he took full advantage of and caught it, pulling in the warm muscle. The taste of smoke, coffee, and just Jesse filled his mouth. The kiss became more desperate as his hand slipped up into the soft brown hair and he pushed Jesse backwards towards the wall, pinning him against it.  
  
He felt the sounds that worked their way up Jesse's throat, felt his breath hitch as Gabriel pressed one of his thick thighs between McCree's. The younger man was panting into the kiss, his hands had at some point let go of the front of his shirt to grab onto Gabriel's hips instead, tugging at them as his own rocked forward to grind himself onto Reyes' thigh. The heat building in his crotch seeped through the fabric and Gabriel could feel the warmth increasing against his leg, along with the firmness of the cowboy's growing erection.  
  
_Well, that's one thing I don't have to wonder anymore. Kid's clearly not straight._ The thought rolled pleasantly across his mind as his hand moved up from Jesse's hip and slowly slipped under the younger man's t-shirt. Fingers skirted over the soft skin of Jesse's stomach, traveled up over his chest, Gabriel's thumb slid over one of the pert nipples and felt the kid shudder with a soft moan.  
  
It made his breath catch, his kiss more insistent, forcing Jesse's head to tilt back against the wall as his mouth pulled away from those soft needy lips. His own moving across Jesse's cheek, pressing kisses and soft bites along McCree's jaw to the smooth expanse of his throat. Gentle bites to the hot skin, soft wordless whispers mumbled into Jesse's neck. The low, quiet, sounds escaping from Jesse's mouth just urging him on as the hands on his hips moved up to grip the back of his shirt. When he bit into the soft flesh and worried it with his teeth, sucking the warm skin into his mouth, tongue lapping at it greedily, he felt a surge of want flow through him and the moan that came from Jesse had his body shifting to grind his hips against the younger man's with a growing urgency.  
  
"G-Gabe.." The sound of his name on McCree's lips made him groan into the kid's neck and reluctantly pull back to look at the young man he had pinned to the wall. Jesse's face flushed dark, his body practically vibrating with arousal, and a softness to him that showed the trust he had in Gabriel. It made his heart pound in his ears. The kid was completely willing to let him take whatever he wanted from him.  
  
_Jesse trusted him._  
  
It made his chest ache and a heady warmth flow through him. Gabriel ran a thumb over Jesse's lips and was treated to a soft kiss pressed to the pad of it. It gripped his heart and squeezed it tightly, his stomach fluttering more than McCree's lashes. The protective and possessive feelings that warred inside him, just looking at the softness of Jesse's expression, the warmth that burst from his chest filling him with longing and fondness so strong he couldn't have explained it if he tried.  
  
Gabriel was in love with Jesse McCree.  
  
His arms slipped around the younger man, pulling him tight against him, his breathing heavy as he nosed into the boy's soft hair. His lips brushing over the shell of Jesse's ear. Gabriel's voice barely a whisper. His tone clearly possessive and it made Jesse shiver and cling to his commander.  
  
"You're _mine_ , Jesse."  
  
Jesse exhaled softly before he responded. His voice breathy and his fingers digging into Gabriel's back.  
  
" _Always_ , boss."


End file.
